


You'd Be Dead Where You Stand

by Brickman



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Dark, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-20
Updated: 2015-12-20
Packaged: 2018-05-07 18:20:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5466425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brickman/pseuds/Brickman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sans the skeleton, having never met the woman who lives in the Ruins, discovers a human trying to leave them. Naturally, he kills the human on the spot.</p>
<p>Of course, with humans it's never that easy...</p>
<p>AU based on Sans' conversation in the diner near the end of the game, in which I take him at his word.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You'd Be Dead Where You Stand

 

_"Do you get what I'm saying? That promise I made to her... You know what would have happened if she hadn't said anything? Buddy, you'd be dead where you stand."_

* * *

 

***Click***

Suddenly, the world was different.

A moment ago, Sans had been chatting with one of his fellow sentries, in a courageous effort to prevent either of them from doing their jobs. He'd been in the middle of setting up for the worst pun he knew. Now he was slouched behind his station, looking for all the world like he had just woken up from a nap. Especially to any hypothetical part of the world which had actually been standing there watching.

Now, this sudden shift in and of itself wouldn't be all that unusual. Vanishing on Doggo was a little too mean-spirited to use as a prank, given the dog's poor vision, but he had done it a few times to prove a point. Certainly Sans had traveled far greater distances in his special near-instant way for far more trivial reasons. But this time Sans hadn't actually done anything.

A quick check of the time on his phone confirmed what he already knew: Time travel. It had been a quarter 'till noon when he'd been talking to Doggo (Probably. He wasn't the best at keeping track of time). It was now a quarter after eleven. That darn flower must have just LOADed again.

Except... this didn't feel right. First off, Flowey had given up on resets shorter than a week about the same time he'd gotten bored of killing people. But more importantly, this didn't _feel_ like his power. It felt like that had been done by someone else, and that was bad news.

If someone besides Flowey had the power to SAVE, it could only be a human. A determined one at that. Well, if there was one silver lining to this, nobody was going to be able to accuse him of not doing his job today.

The most likely place for a human to show up would be the Ruins, so Sans hung an “Out to Lunch” sign on the front of his station and relocated himself to the huge door that separated them from the rest of the underground. Having made it there so fast, he had plenty of time to wait.

Just as the clock reached noon and the sun would have been high overhead (if they had any sun), the door creaked open. Out shuffled a young human, which couldn't have been a day over ten. It walked slowly, clutched a stick near its chest and looked around nervously at the dark, snow-covered trees.

Then the human died.

***Click***

Well, that hadn't been very surprising. Sans had had the jump on the human, and hadn't held back. It was over in less than a second. But if he'd expected this human to be the type to stay down when you killed them once, he might not have bothered.

The second time, the human made it to the door about five minutes later, and stepped out even more cautiously. Its eyes darted around nervously before seeming to spot Sans where he was hiding in the tree. Its only reward was that it got to see the attack that killed it this time.

***Click***

The third time, to their credit, the human closely dodged the first laser, having seen it only once before. The laser that followed it half a second later, the human did not dodge.

***Click***

The human had come right out for that third encounter, having apparently set up a SAVE just before leaving. No such luck this time. Sans was forced to wait what might have been another ten minutes, and when the human emerged they were wielding a knife instead of the stick from before. Though it looked more like a stage prop than a real weapon. It didn't matter, because the second laser still clipped the human and that was that.

***Click***

The human came right out again. This time they cleared all three lasers from Sans' initial volley (guessing the third one right despite not having seen it before), and managed to take a swing at him. Sans dodged effortlessly, though he doubted he needed to. As much as his friends liked to joke about his one point of defense, he did have more than one HP—certainly enough to take a hit from this kid. But it never came to that, because his next volley of bones easily hit their mark.

***Click***

After being killed five times in a row, the human seemed to have finally decided to try something clever. Instead of leaving the Ruins right away, they waited. And waited. It was nearly three hours after the LOAD when the door began to open. Sans had actually fetched a magazine from his station and had been leaning against the door to make sure he didn't miss it opening, but he was back inside the treeline before the human could see him. No point giving the kid ideas.

For all that waiting the battle was over just as quickly as the previous ones. There was a bit more time after this victory, enough for Sans to just start wondering if he'd really done it, when

***Click***

...he found himself back at Grilbys, eating yesterday's lunch.

Sans chose to interpret this as progress.

* * *

 

After the RESET, Sans wasted no time getting back to the entrance to the Ruins. His unusual haste was rewarded. The human had RESET to a little before one in the afternoon, which was almost a full day before they'd left first the Ruins. This time, the door began to open (almost toppling Sans, who had been leaning against it again) after only four hours.

It was a good plan, all told. There was a long list of opponents who could have been avoided by such a plan. Sadly for the human, Sans did not make that list. A few traded blows, and the human was dead again.

***Click***

After that didn't work, the human chose to try direct confrontation a few more times. After all, they only had to win once, right? Unfortunately for them, Sans

***Click***

was very good

***Click***

at this job.

***Click***

Back to lunchtime at Grilbys. Well, this human was certainly not a quitter. Sans was just gonna have to see what he could do about that.

Sans wasted no time getting back to the Ruins again. He didn't actually think the human was clever enough to have faked how fast they could get there, but it would be a silly risk. The human turned out to be smarter than he'd thought in an entirely different way though.

Just around nine, when the sun would have been long since set if actually there'd been any sunlight down here, an attack pierced through the doorway, catching the reclining Sans through the chest and completely off-guard.

What? How? True, when humans and monsters fight they attack each other's souls directly, and actual weapons are more of a focusing tool than anything else. So in theory, a combatant who knew enough could push an attack through inanimate solid matter, like a heavy stone door. But how did a human child know how to pull that off? And how did they know that Sans was leaning against the door?

And since when did they have enough LOVE to hit that hard?

After that one hit, Sans was just barely clinging to life. He stumbled away from the doorway and off to the side, the side opposite the treeline where he'd been waiting each time so far. The door, fortunately, was still quite heavy and could not be opened quickly. Sans tried to take a cheap shot at the human the moment they stepped out, but they'd clearly expected him to switch sides because they dodged it cleanly.

The human countered with an attack meant to cleave Sans in two. But the one thing they surely had not been expecting was for Sans to disappear before their eyes, only to reappear behind them, mid-attack. His attack, thankfully, hit full force, and was just enough to bring them down.

***Click***

That was... too close. Way too close. How had this human figured out where Sans would be standing? And more importantly, how had they become so strong? Well, the first question might not be so much of a mystery. Sans must have made some kind of noise, or maybe it'd just been a lucky guess. As for the second question...

The answer was obvious when they emerged for the next round. White dust stained the human's hands and parts of their clothing. In any other circumstances, if he hadn't already seen this human with relatively clean clothes, if he hadn't already been _expecting_  it, he might have believed that dust was something innocuous. But given the circumstances, Sans could guess exactly what they'd spent the last couple hours doing.

Had he screwed up?

Well, there'd be plenty of time later for regrets, or none at all if he didn't win this fight. Any pretense of both parties not remembering the previous fights was now out the window (though the kid did at least try attacking the door again). So with it, Sans threw out what little of a pattern he'd been following so far. He began switching between attacks at random, teleporting to and fro as the human came close to hitting him. Eventually, one of his attacks landed dead-on, and the human fell.

***Click***

The human was stronger now. Before, any kind of hit Sans landed was usually enough to either finish them off or leave them right on the brink. Now, anything but catching them square in the center of a laser was survivable, and the human was quick to scarf down a slice of pie or some kind of beverage that healed them right back up. Their attacks, too, came both faster and harder. Sans had no expectation that he could survive two of them. Even one was pushing it.

Of course, Sans was still a good deal too fast than that. Back and forth, back and forth, until Sans landed two good hits in a row...

***Click***

...landing them back at the start. Another round, longer than the last, still ended in his favor.

***Click***

And another.

***Click***

And another.

***Click***

Dodge, dodge, feint, dodge, cheap shot, dodge, cheap shot, win.

***Click***

Dodge, attack, feint, dodge, pretend to feint only to really attack, cheap shot, win.

***Click***

It wasn't that Sans was getting physically tired. After all, every time the human LOADed he was restored to peak condition too. And he wasn't out of tricks yet, not quite. But this was wearing him down. The adrenaline rush can only last so long, even without real exhaustion (or, for that matter, real adrenaline).

***Click***

Eventually your brain catches up with you and stops to think about how much you stand to lose, how even one wrong move might be the end, how you can't possibly keep doing everything perfectly forever...

***Click***

...and how even if you win, was it worth it? Those monsters in the Ruins, the ones whose dust now speckled the human's clothes... they hadn't died the first time.

***Click***

Had he really done the right thing? Was it too late to fix things?

***Click***

Probably. Best to stay the course. Humans are dangerous. A single human this strong could slaughter half the underground. Never mind the barrier. If he stopped them here, if the threat was ended after touching only the monsters of the Ruins... that was still a win, right?

***Click***

Nah, he didn't believe that either. The words sounded hollow in his head.

***Click***

But what else could he do?

***Click***

It was darker out than it had been when the human got the jump on him, Sans realized. When had that happened? A quick check of his phone while waiting for the human to emerge said another hour and a half had passed at some point, and he somehow hadn't even noticed. There was more dust on the human too; their entire face and most of their shirt were covered. Covered, except for the suspiciously clean streaks running down from their eyes.

No, this wasn't right at all.

***Click***

This had to stop.

***Click***

Enough was enough. Rather than flee from the door immediately, Sans turned around, knocked on it as loudly as he could, then scooted back several feet to be safe.

“Human,” he announced, as loudly as he could without sounding like he was yelling, “I'm ready to surrender.”

There was a long, tense pause, with not a sound but the wind, before a hard voice replied with one word: “Why?”

“Why? Kid, we've been at this for hours, and I'm not--”

“No,” interrupted the voice. “Why... this? Why kill me? Just to steal my soul?”

Sans had to stop and think about this. Not only because it was a hard question, one that he wasn't so sure he knew the answer to anymore. But also because this might be his only chance to talk his way out of this, and if he screwed it up he was going to die.

“Because you're dangerous,” he decided. “A single human like you, you could kill half the underground if you tried. And to leave the Underground, you'd have to kill the king.”

“That's it?” The human sounded surprised, confused. “That's... I...” the voice sputtered helplessly for several seconds, before seeming to reach a conclusion. “Maybe I'll show you how dangerous I am.” The words dripped with venom.

Sans had just enough time to gulp loudly before...

***Click***

...he was back in Grilbys, eating his lunch. Well, might as well enjoy it this time. If after all that the human could actually get to the door in less than, say, two hours, they deserved it, along with whatever award they give the best actors up there on the surface.

Sans ate slowly, trying to commit every last bite of the greasy, fatty burger and fries to memory. A feeling in his lack-of-gut told him this could well be his last meal.

After finishing his food, Sans tracked down his brother, hard at work on one of his many puzzles. Papyrus was certainly surprised when Sans hugged him without any warning, but he didn't insist on an explanation. Good. If this ended badly, Sans wanted to at least spare him those details.

When all legitimate reasons for stalling were used up, Sans returned to the door. The human wasn't there yet, of course. Well, those magazines wouldn't read themselves.

The human didn't show up at all that day. Late that evening, Papyrus found him instead. Rather than worry about why Sans had run off without telling him, Papyrus was thrilled to discover that Sans had actually spent the whole afternoon and evening guarding something (even if, as he was quick to note, it wasn't actually his sentry station). In fact, Papyrus was so overwhelmed that his joy could only be expressed through cooking.

The risk of being incapacitated by Papyrus's spaghetti was slightly lower than the risk of being incapacitated by not having eaten since lunch, so Sans ate the whole thing.

It wasn't until ten the next morning that the ringing of several bells alerted Sans that the door was opening. (Of course, he could have set up a proper alarm like this any time, but he'd been pretending not to have any foreknowledge). It wasn't the human that stepped out, though.

It was a monster. A big one. As tall as Asgore and built just as strong, with the same white fur and horns. She wore a dress adorned with that old symbol found all over the palace. The human crept out behind her, not quite hiding behind her bulk but keeping her between them at all times.

Hold on, that symbol. That build. No, it couldn't be...

That wasn't just any monster, it was the queen! Toriel Dreemurr, queen of monsterkind. She hadn't been seen since before Sans was born. The Ruins had been locked since before Sans was born. It didn't take a genius to connect the dots.

Toriel fixed him with a dark look. “Are you the one who has been tormenting this innocent youth?”

It was the queen, and she was defending this human? It took Sans a moment to find his tongue before he could stammer out a simple “yes.”

“I would hear your excuse for such behavior. I hope for your sake it is good.”

His answer was quicker and sounded surer than the last time he'd been asked that, but it was the same answer. “Humans are dangerous, even the weak ones. That one's as strong as they come. If they went bad, nobody could stop them. Plus, there's the barrier. I can't just sit here and let someone by knowing they're going to kill the king.”

“So it's true,” said Toriel, scowl deepening. “You have no reason at all, save for what they _might_ do. So perhaps I am being merciful, if I judge you only for what you have already done. Have you anything else to say for yourself?”

Sans almost tried to say something, anything, but he stopped himself. Stopped, thought about it, and discarded whatever it was he was going to say. Instead he shook his head and closed his eyes.

What could he say? Here was the queen, one of the two monsters alive today who had lost the most to humankind and had the most cause to hate them. And she was defending this human, protecting them, furious that they had been harmed. What could he say to that?

Sans made no move to defend himself as the air heated up around the queen's hands, as she prepared to dish out whatever level of punishment was coming to him. Verbal or phyiscal, he probably deserved it. He'd known that even while he was doing it. He just squeezed his eyes shut tighter, and braced himself for...

***Click***

...something which never came.

Sans opened his eyes.

The door was still closed, and the only footprints in the snow were his own. It was a good half hour earlier. What had happened? He was... pretty sure he hadn't died. Flowey had killed him before, he knew what dying felt like.

Again, all he could do was wait. Though every time he tried to look at his magazines, the words blurred together in his head and all he could think of was that anger, from both the human and the queen.

After another hour (kid was sure taking their sweet time, this time), bells rang out and the human emerged again, alone this time. Their clothes and skin were clean, and they carried only a stick for protection again.

The human stopped walking a few feet away and, eyes glued to the ground, said the last words Sans was ever expecting: “I'm sorry.”

“You're... what?” was all Sans could manage.

“I shouldn't have done that,” continued the human, sounding rehearsed. “It wasn't a nice thing to do. I was angry, and I did something mean on purpose. So I'm sorry.”

Sans stared, and began to really appreciate just how young the human standing in front of him was. Just a child. Adults don't give apologies like that. Adults don't _talk_  like that.

Actually, adults usually don't give apologies at all. He could fix that one, at least.

“Kid,” he said, “after everything I just did, you're not the one who ought to be apologizing. You've got nothing to be sorry for. I'm the one who should be sorry, for putting you through the wringer like that.”

The human's shoulders relaxed a bit, and they finally brought their eyes up to his face. “You knew I'd used a LOAD already, right? That's why you were waiting at the Ruins.” Sans nodded. “You wanna know why I did it?” Another nod, since the kid clearly wanted to tell him.

“I hurt her, on accident. She wanted to make sure I was strong enough to survive out here. I thought she'd give in but then I hit too hard and it was an accident and... and that was why I LOADed. To bring her back.”

There was a long, uncomfortable pause which Sans eventually broke. “Geez, kid, we really got off on the wrong foot, didn't we? Maybe we can just, like, start over?” Sans reached out his right hand. “Hi, my name is Sans. What's your name?”

The human looked at the outstretched hand warily, like it might still be a trap, before reaching out a much smaller hand to take it. “Ok. Hi, my name is--”

Whatever they were going to say was drowned out by an enormous farting noise. Now it was the human's turn to just stare at Sans.

“Whoopie cushion in the hand,” explained Sans, holding up his hand to demonstrate the object he was holding. “World's strongest icebreaker, always there when I need it. It's never failed me once.”

The human continued to just stare for several seconds. Then, they chucked. The chuckle grew to a laugh, which grew to a belly laugh, and before long the human was laughing so hard there were tears rolling down their face.

Maybe it was relief, or regret, or hope, or all of the above and a handful more. Maybe it really was just that funny. Sans couldn't guess. He couldn't even say why he was laughing too.

Eventually, they both settled down enough for Sans to speak normally again. “By the way, kid, if I don't get an answer this is gonna bug me forever. How'd you know I was leaning against the door?”

“Um, your footprints didn't match every time. But mostly...” the human grinned and let the sentence hang for a second, “mostly, you snore.”

Sans couldn't help but laugh at that, a real laugh, and the human giggled too. Their face grew serious as they continued, though. “Once I knew you were there, a flower told me how to attack through the door. I think he doesn't like you.”

“Feeling's mutual,” muttered Sans, just a bit too loud.

That killed the jovial mood a bit. Neither of them said anything for a moment, until the human asked the big question. “So what now?”

“Well, I can take you back to Snowdin. It's a real nice little town, I bet you'll love it. I'll make sure everyone treats you well.”

“I need to get home,” says the human, looking nervous and guilty.

Sans sighed. “I wasn't lying about the barrier. The only way out for you is to kill the king. If you want to try, I can't... I won't stop you, but you're not going to find another way.” Predicting what the human was about to say, Sans raised a finger to interrupt him. “So at least try staying in Snowdin for a bit, ok? Who knows, you might like it so much you won't even want to return up top.”

The human nodded, but they didn't smile.

“Great! And hey, while we're out and about we can go meet my brother. He's really been looking forward to a chance to try to capture a human and... No wait! He's not dangerous! Come back! Human!”

Great, now he was going to have to catch up with the human and explain things to him, on top of everything else. But... things had still turned out pretty well. Much better than he could really ask for. If he had to run around this forest all day trying to convince a human that his brother was safe, that's a price he'd pay any day of the week.

 


End file.
